Lines

[Goat]

Hahah me too. LOL

[Grim]

Witty.

[zero_kanipan]

nasa may bandang gitna, pero panalo hahaha!

[Serene]

Bagyuhin ba naman kami.

My favorite one is: 'Para kang holdaper... Ibibigay ko ang lahat wag mo lang akong saktan.'
--- 'You're like a hold-upper... I'll give you everything, just don't hurt me.'

[zero_kanipan]

BABALA: huwag gamitin ang mga sumusunod na linya kung ayaw nyo maitlogan.

Troso ka ba? Parang ang sarap mo sibakin.

Bukid ka ba? Gusto kasi kitang araruhin.

Kung tubig ako, ikaw ang freezer. Naninigas ako sa yo.

Kung baril ako, sana masama kang tao. Para pwede kita putukan.

Barbeque ka ba? Kasi gusto kitang tuhugin.

Tinapay ka ba? Kasi gusto kitang palamanan.

Sana unggoy ka. Para papakainin kita ng saging ko.

Dugo ka ba? Kasi ikaw ang laman ng puso ko.

[clonezero]

I have no idea where to place this so I'll just put it here

A young Blood Claw of the Space Wolves is captured by Chaos forces, but they have already sacrificed every Imperial guardsman they needed to, so they decide to laugh a little. They tell him that if he succeeds in three trials, he will be free to go. The first trial consists of drinking a whole barrel of denatured alcohol, but they don't know that the young one is from Fenris, where they pee far away from the bonfires cause its flammable. He downs it in one go and asks for another one. Finally, he burps and asks for the other two trials.
The Chaos Champion, a little pissed off says... "In the next trial, you will have to kill with your bare hands a Carnifex that lives in that cave, and in the last one, you will have to make love to a Sister of Battle maiden till she faints."

They took the Blood Claw to the cave. Some minutes after he disappears into the darkness, some horrible screams start coming out of it. Finally, they stop. Everybody in the front of the cave think the Space Wolf is dead when suddenly, the bloodcurdling howls start again even louder and then stop. Its like this for some time, with so terribly loud noises, that some of the heretics had to pass a morale check to avoid fleeing.

Finally the Space Wolf appears, puffs, and says...

"For Russ! It was hard to make it faint... Now, where the hell is that maiden I have to kill with my bare hands?"

My respect for the space wolf chapter when up a notch

[Serene]

One of my current lines when somebody asks me something:
"Saging ka ba? Lakas mo makautos ah."
"Ano'ng saging?"
"Senyorita."

[zero_kanipan]

rain + traffic + boredom = mga kung anu-anong linya. yung iba ako nakaisip, yung iba narinig ko dati. hindi lahat pick-up lines btw.

Sana pako ako at kahoy ka. Para pwede ako bumaon sa yo.

Para kang ulan. You make me wet.

Drow Ranger ka ba? Traxex tayo.

Para kang kumot. Malamig ang gabi ko pag wala ka.

Ang single, kain muna bago hugas. Ang may bf/gf hugas muna bago kain.

Para kang palaman. Ang cheesy mo eh.

[NiX]

From some t-shirt:

"Silence is golden so shut the fuck up"

[Serene]

"Dude you have a girlfriend?"
"Madami. They're in my laptop."

[Fox]

"Money CAN buy you happiness but you have to assemble it first."
- two certain RR members talking over YM

[Sforza]

"Money CAN buy you happiness but you have to assemble it first."
- two certain RR members talking over YM

I've always thought that the highest quality happiness comes as a DIY project instead of something that's bought as a kit. Small difference there

[Serene]

"Money CAN buy you happiness but you have to assemble it first."
- two certain RR members talking over YM

I've always thought that the highest quality happiness comes as a DIY project instead of something that's bought as a kit. Small difference there

We're easy to please.

In my case, styrene or high-impact plastic sheets and some superglue will do.

[Sforza]

Best motivational use of monks ever

You have no discipline? You are a fucking monk. Monks have discipline. Do monk training. They dedicate hours each day just meditating on a rock out in all the elements. Think about it for a minute. How much focus and energy is required by them just to keep their minds clear for so long. Yet, they do it.

They are fucking monks. Just like you.

Except your rock is the library, and your meditation is study. Sit there. Study the fuck out of your books.

Do you think a monk sits on his rock for two minutes, then decides to whip out his phone and browse reddit? Fuck off. He wouldn't be a monk then. He'd be a fuckwit sitting on an uncomfortable rock reading some bullshit. Yeah, that's not you either. You're a monk, motherfucker. Sit there. Focus on your book. Focus so hard it feels like you are punching through piles of bricks with your mind.

You need to lose fat too? Duh. You're a monk. Crouching tiger hidden dragon those exercises. Oh wait, I just need to see what is on page 3 of reddit - FUCK YOU NONMONK. That's what a stupid nonmonk would think. Not you. You are a monk that fucks up the gym, the pavement, the park, where ever the hell you exercise and crushes all other exercise routines in your wake.

In fact. You really start fucking shit up when it comes to your monk diet. Cook smart. Monk-style. There ain't no soda in the mountains, Bruce. Yeah. I called you Bruce. You fucking man of a monk. Eat the shit out of the healthy shit you prepare. Yeah.

You obviously need a schedule for this. Use some of that monk discipline, will ya. Make a spreadsheet of what you will do each day: food, exercise, travel, study, sleep - and then hone in on it just like any other one of your gosu monk bretherin would do. Oh, I'll just stay up 40 mins past my scheduled sleep time to watch Communit- cracks knuckles. I hope you were not going to say you were going to watch some bullshit TV show that will mean jack shit to you in one year when you are repeating high school. Yeah, I thought not. You are a monk that knows how it's done. Sit the fuck on your rock and do what you do best. Mind fuck shit up. That's focus and discipline - mind fucking shit. Your mind is a weapon of mass destruction. Your glorious attention span leaves entire books, food preparing, exercise plans, and sleep patterns magnificently in your wake.

Monk-style. You. Fuck shit up.

http://www.reddit.com/r/GetMotivated/com...ck/c35rcnd

[NiX]

I am now a monk.