zero's stories - feedback thread

[zero_kanipan]

please put your comments and suggestions here. just make sure to specify the story you are commenting on.

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some background on The Invasion:
one idea that has always been stuck in my head and joked around with is "wouldn't it be nice if video games/MMOs came true?" the thought was interesting to me because heck you can loot gold from monster and dont need to sit on your ass eight hours a day for measly pay. girls would be wearing awesome sexy armor, etc etc. anyway, after more thought however i got curious just how the fantasy world and real would clash together. how would the real world handle the whole dispute with Sauron and the Ring? or if a dragon was set lose in a metropolis. these kind of questions were strengthened by movies like Cloverfield (not exactly fantasy, but its real world vs massive monster), Reign of Fire and the Harry Potter series. so yeah, this story is my attempt to answer those questions.

ok, with that out of the way, you can read it here:
http://ravenrepublic.net/forums/showthread.php?tid=2503

looking forward to comments, suggestions, etc ^^

thanks

edit: btw, Arnel is a reference to Arnel Pineda (the way he looks at least). i thought of the guy coz the vocals of Dragon Force sound like and look like him to a degree XD

[Serene]

Yo.
I remember us talking about the stories you just posted from last time we were going home from Tagaytay?
Those it?

[zero_kanipan]

yup. they're not very good tho XD

[Serene]

yup. they're not very good tho XD

A kid's gonna read it so it's fine. This'll look better with drawings.

[zero_kanipan]

yup. they're not very good tho XD

A kid's gonna read it so it's fine. This'll look better with drawings.

actually the target audience isnt children. its only written that way ^^U so yeah it fails hahaha

[Immaterial]

I liked the Zombie one.

Zombies! That part stuck with me. XD

I'm on the process of reading the others. :p