(12-09-2011, 07:42 PM)iraya-sama Wrote: read this guys -its a reply to all whiny men in general because in the base part of everything its chauvinism
http://yesmeansyesblog.wordpress.com/201...he-answer/
& a longer & more detailed explanaition
http://tigerbeatdown.com/2011/08/29/chro...s-of-doom/
its a good read. like seriously
and this quote form the link from Sforza's post:
'Don't worry so much about the woman's subjective experience to you. Don't worry about doing the right thing or mainting this pesona for their bennefit. Behave the way you want to behave, with sweetness and kindness, and vulnerability and timidness, and playfulness and humor, and hurt and even a little cruelty. Feel free to get hurt and embarassed. Feel free to hurt her and to enjoy her.'
-- i just sounds so wrong. as a girl..it sounds wrong somehow. enjoy her? is she a thing to be enjoyed or worse, hurt? isn't approaching someone supposed to be out of love & respect not out of a need to kill loneliness? 'Don't worry so much about the woman's subjective experience to you? - as a human being YOU SHOULD VERY WELL WORRY- because a girl is also a human being, her experiences, previous & present will affect everything she does just as much as a man's experiences will.
just..so much feelings on this topic. like seriously.
Someone actually complained about that line too, the author of the original quoted post responded:
Quote:My mention of cruelty is not me saying "you should be cruel" it is more me saying if you are open to real feeling "you will be cruel". It is descriptive instead of proscriptive. I strive to be kind, but I find that some cruelty is an inevitable consequence of opening myself up to sincere emotions.
I hope this makes sense and you are welcome to disagree. I realize I sacrificed precision and clarity for a provacative directness but my original comment was pushing it in terms of length as it was.
http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/commen...ly/c36damv
My take on this is that we have to be careful not to misinterpret the intention of the original author, Freudian slip or not. To me what the author was simply trying to state was that one has to truly be him (or her)self in order to participate in a mutually beneficial relationship with a partner. His argument is a gender neutral one essentially, it just came out really wrong when he tried to summarize his thoughts.
I also read the links you posted on the gender issues about women and saying No. Personally I think the points are very valid as well, and they do make a lot of sense; this just isn't the proper forum or timing to post something like that. I don't think most guys who can't even talk to girls without feeling nervous would turn into the types that can't take no for an answer. On the other hand, I think if a girl tells them "no", they'll probably just run and hide somewhere.
Edit: It's even more ironic because the intentions of the quoted post seems to believe that everyone is equal (no chauvinism), and the response was supposed to be more humanist response compared to the typical "MAN UP" or "be aggressive!" type of replies one would expect.
