01-10-2011, 04:50 PM
Rave - Yesterday, i was able to get my very own tame racing driver. Yes, that's correct, my very own, personal, tame racing driver, who farmed credits for me in GT5 yesterday by grinding races. A lot of credits.
Admittedly, not much is known about him. Some say he sees in binary, is half cyborg, hunts tyrannosaurs on weekends, once punched an elephant (and it's mahout) to the ground, appears on high-denomination bank notes in South Africa, always faces magnetic north, pees hydraulic fluid when he goes to the john, sleeps upside down like a bat, and is illegal in seventeen states and most of the territories.
His breath smells of cordite, he has a speedometer and rev counter where a wristwatch should be, he was Rubens Barrichello's roommate in boarding school, his tongue is made of Snickers, Reese's and Kisses, he was officially the last king of Zanzibarland, he has a house on the planet Mercury, his left nipple is the shape of the Nürburgring, and he is terrified of traffic cops.
His footsteps sound like shifting gears, his lungs are supercharged, Kenny Loggins' "Danger Zone" plays whenever he shows up, that his testicles are twin NOS cylinders, that his snore makes the same sound as a '97 Toyota Supra RZ, his skull is made of solid titanium, that when he brakes hard, coolant fluid comes out of his nose, his eyes make a sound like a misfiring system when he blinks. All we know is — he's called the Mark.
Admittedly, not much is known about him. Some say he sees in binary, is half cyborg, hunts tyrannosaurs on weekends, once punched an elephant (and it's mahout) to the ground, appears on high-denomination bank notes in South Africa, always faces magnetic north, pees hydraulic fluid when he goes to the john, sleeps upside down like a bat, and is illegal in seventeen states and most of the territories.
His breath smells of cordite, he has a speedometer and rev counter where a wristwatch should be, he was Rubens Barrichello's roommate in boarding school, his tongue is made of Snickers, Reese's and Kisses, he was officially the last king of Zanzibarland, he has a house on the planet Mercury, his left nipple is the shape of the Nürburgring, and he is terrified of traffic cops.
His footsteps sound like shifting gears, his lungs are supercharged, Kenny Loggins' "Danger Zone" plays whenever he shows up, that his testicles are twin NOS cylinders, that his snore makes the same sound as a '97 Toyota Supra RZ, his skull is made of solid titanium, that when he brakes hard, coolant fluid comes out of his nose, his eyes make a sound like a misfiring system when he blinks. All we know is — he's called the Mark.
"May those who accept their fate find happiness. May those who defy their fate find glory."
