Societal Impositions

[Sforza]

As you know, I'm in college again. Yesterday, someone from my school (who I don't really know too well) texted me all of a sudden, "Do you have a best friend?"

To which I answered, "I do not have a particlar person in mind. I think it's something older people impose on us for no rational reason, like long hair and video games being bad."

I actually get this question a lot from "normal people". I also used to get the "Why don't you have a gf? / When are you getting married?" question a lot.

What do you think about this? Is getting a girlfriend and a bestfriend required to lead a decent life?

What are the things parents and older relatives like to impose on you that don't make any sense?

Edit: The guy I replied to said my answer was fresh and individualistic, which made me a little surprised. I would like to think more people think the same way.

[Mjting]

That we should just follow without question the people who are older than us, regardless if they're right or wrong(Which is subjective). Derp, does this even count?

That my interest in anime, japanese stuff, and otaku stuff is some kind of an automatic you-are-irresponsible-childish-careless-immature person.

My mom also tells me to always always stick to what's "uso/ what's in fashion". I do get cues from some trends, but not everything.

[Lord_Leperman]

It's not an imposition for me. Getting a GF or a best friend would certainly be better than not having one depending on how you handle it. That or because I never had one before . Maybe they're just curious as to why you don't have one before?

That said, imposing religion by parents is something I'm a bit annoyed about, but I do understand their position regarding the mater. I don't have to like it, but I understand why they want to, and I believe that's the key to having stable relationships.

[Serene]

Well, the girlfriend thing for one and the long hair thing another. For the first, They've [at least some] have accepted the fact that I don't want one and for the last one, we're a damned package deal.

I do have a best friend, though he was the one who said that we are. But I don't think having a best friend is pretty much optional. It's different from people to people though. I keep mine around because it's fun having him for company. We've been friends since elementary. He's married now but I'm the guy he goes to when things get really messy. It's fluffy and heartwarming in a way.

Having a girlfriend... Out of the question de-geso. [Shin may or may not get the joke in this one]

Simple SIMS logic, Acquaintance thinks of you as a close friend, and/but you don't. Yun na yun.

[atdsutm]

Having a girlfriend... Out of the question de-geso. [Shin may or may not get the joke in this one]

"Atheist" = Anti Christ

"Upside down cross" = Logo of Satan.

"You need to get a life"

"you need to get laid"

"Be a 'Man' "

"rock musics are demonic"

"video games are for kids" (except for the ones that help you earn money.)

"non-3d games are for kids"

[J.E_Magog]

Them thinks that having long-hair + no GF amounts to gayness(butt53x)

[McCale]

"Atheist" = Anti Christ. Nope, not even close- it just means you don't believe in a higher power out of physical evidence to prove said power's existence. An atheist appeals to a sense of logic instead of spirituality. Anyone who makes this argument is dumb and needs to reread their bible.

"Upside down cross" = Logo of Satan. Nope, while some satanic worshipers do use this in their rituals- the upside down cross is, in fact, a symbol of St. Peter- the spiritual leader of the Vatican (as can be evidenced by the inverted cross adorning the Pope's throne).

"You need to get a life" And thank YOU for dictating my life's actions and plotting out my "life" for me. Fuck off.

"you need to get laid" "Been there, done that. Oh wait, you haven't? Well shit, maybe you shouldn't be prescribing cures for things you don't know anything about." Seriously, this mentality irritates the hell out of me.

"Be a 'Man" Now, which definition of a man are we talking about? Websters or the societal norm? If the former- well I'm a homosapiens sapiens and have a penis....so yeah, already living the life man. Now if it's the latter- where society expects us to bottle up our emotions so we eventually explode around the people we care about once we're past a certain threshold, not care about our appearance, be outwardly machismo, etc. Uh, no thanks.

"rock musics are demonic" While there are certain sub genres of rock which claim to be inspired by the darker powers (black metal, death metal, etc) the fact of the matter is Rock on the whole is simply another means of expression through the musical medium. Even "satanic" poster boys Black Sabbath and their original line up including shock rocker Ozzy Osbourne were avowedly Christian. Fuck off, and if you don't like it- go listen to something else. Not everyone likes Rap or Teeny Bopper bullcrap like Justin Bieber.

"video games are for kids" (except for the ones that help you earn money.) Nope- studies prove that video games are one of the leading electronic industries right now, and have statistically been proven to increase hand/eye coordination- to the effect that one of the most sought out features for the new generation of surgeons is the ability to use a video game like controller for microscopic surgery via robot. Further more, educational video game software- a trend that started in the 90's has shown that children are better able to retain educational material if it is put in a colorful engaging format rather than through word of mouth (read: lecture in the classroom) alone.

"non-3d games are for kids" Same as above. 2d/3d/4d I don't give a crap- if you think it's fun, it's fun- nuts to anyone who says otherwise. The important thing to remember however, is that all things- including video games- should be enjoyed in moderation.

Long hair? It's a fashion choice- some men are able to pull it off better than others, just like facial hair. The issue lies in knowing what suits you. For example: I look better with short hair because my face is somewhat rounder. At the same time, facial hair (WHEN PROPERLY GROOMED) enlongates the face, and makes your jaw line look stronger <and some would argue more manly>. Now, if I did the opposite- grew long hair and shaved my beard off- I would look horrible and comments would be made. Like I said, you need to find out what suits your face and body type- and go from there. If you honestly don't care what people think- good for you, do what you want. But it never hurts to be fashion conscious.

Best friend?: Not absolutely necessary no. Neither are friends really. However, social interaction can make life seem easier and/or more pleasant.

Girlfriend/Boyfriend: Not for everyone. Some people develop attachment issues, psychosis when in relationships. Others fear rejection and avoid commitment because of that. If you get one- great. Don't stress yourselves out over it otherwise. Speaking from experience- take it at your own place, and whatever happens happens.

[RoninFang]

@McCale

XD you forgot to add something about video games...some parents still assume video games leads to violence, crime and such

[J.E_Magog]

I got an instant diagnosis

[McCale]

@McCale

XD you forgot to add something about video games...some parents still assume video games leads to violence, crime and such

Ah THAT old chestnut: any studies that have given rise to the correlation between violence and videogames has only shown an increase in "aggression" for the period of about 15 minutes after playing ceased. No permanent brain chemistry alterations, no hallucinations, etc. These same studies show that movies, and even books can produce similar effects.

So, what are we to do? Ban offensive media in all its forms and lead dull, emotionless lives ala the movie Equilibrium or the book Fahrenheit 451? Elect a central government to dictate our daily lives- the proverbial "Big Brother" watching our every move?

Screw that, live a little and shoot some friggin' zombie in a video game. If anything, video games are cathartic- but you can't find people willing to bribe these "researchers" for that kind of conclusion it seems.

[Shintetsu]

What do you think about this? Is getting a girlfriend and a bestfriend required to lead a decent life?

It isn't a requirement in my opinion, it's only ideal to have such persons in your life as they are people that you can be comfortable with and share your whole personality with, without prejudices and hidden motives.

What are the things parents and older relatives like to impose on you that don't make any sense?

I think I just don't listen to people if they don't make sense at all.

Edit: No wait, sometimes I rage ingame (HoN) and my mom sometimes catches on to me and tells me to stop playing the friggin game if I hate it that much, well, like McCale stated above, if I am pissed at something in the game, it naturally gets forgotten at around 15 minutes, and I'm normal again

[zero_kanipan]

What do you think about this? Is getting a girlfriend and a bestfriend required to lead a decent life?

nope it isnt a requirement. but it sure can be a lot of help if you have the right person with you.

such questions are asked mostly by relatives i think because they care or are concerned. imo societal norms, or at least most of them, became norms as they hold something of value. finding a mate increases ones chances of survival as an individual or couple, and as a species. similarly, having a bestfriend that has your back, increases your chances of survival in this world of ours.

of course, whenever i am asked that, i simple take it as a question of curiosity. kinda like when one asks why did you choose this core instead of that? what's your favorite weapon?

oh and just for reference, i do have a friend i consider my bestfriend, although he is not at the top of the structure. theres still the mentors, spirit brother, etc etc. its a whole ranking system XD as for why no gf, simple, i havent earnest looked for one yet. why is that? im not ready XD i do know that i am at a point where its starting to get hard to simply rely on myself.

What are the things parents and older relatives like to impose on you that don't make any sense?

closest one would be age restrictions. like saying "you're too old" or "too young". depending on the situation, it is perfectly acceptable or is to be expected, but sometimes its just stupid. in my family this is largely prevalent on food, skills and hobbies. i do understand some of the reasoning behind them, however, such reasons only hold because they lack information.

regardless, i try my best to comply. because i too lack information, and my view is also limited by what i have experienced. i trust that the impositions may have merits i have yet to appreciate. as time has gone by and i have experienced more about life, those seemingly senseless things start to suddenly make sense. stuff i used to rebel against, and question the logic of, i find now reasonable and rational.

edit: fuck typos, missing punctuations. its nearly 1am, too sleepy ~.~

editus maximus: oh and i do have an imposition i particularly pissed at. it doesnt even come from elders, but from peers. watching My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic and manliness. yes im a bronie. i like the show. its awesome. fuck you if you think watching it is gay ><

sleep deprivation -> raging zero hahahahah

uber editus maximus: also, de-geso~ XD

[Mjting]

Ugh, right, the girlfriend thing. I, for one am not even interested in having one now. But normally speaking, no, it's not even a goddamned requirement. You cannot force yourself to get a serious gf just by asking women around. It takes time, development, and a kind of chemistry with said person, who you'll have to find.

Bestfriend? I used to really spam that term when I was in HS, but right now, there's no one I can categorize as a "best friend". Close friends probably, and most of them are here in RR.

[Shintetsu]

Le Fox :3

[iraya-sama]

i feel like my life isn't as exciting as other peoples LOL

i have never labeled anyone before as my best friend- close friends perhaps- Trace could possibly be my only best friend but that came from the years we shared in a very close close and openly communicative relationship.

liking games and shit didn't really affect how my family viewed me- dad, brothers and me are gamers. we all got good grades so i guess it just showed that our hard core gaming sessions weren't really a problem with anything.

parents and family has always supported my drawings- yes even the anime ones idk? now i'm earning money- or at least trying to earn money off of it and they are still quite supportive.

religion- dad is muslim, mom just converted to islam, im a deitist, sister and bros are christians but not really practicing so yep, religion isn't an issue in this family. it's only bothersome when we have to go to religious events or something and my parents can't eat the food or whatever. as long as we are good, we are good.

as with the BF/GF issue? mom didn't really ask about my love life or whatever- the closest crit she could give me is - if i ever marry a girl, make sure i can still give her grandchildren' when i told her i was bi :/

other relations did bother me but usually i just ignored the question or just turned the topic of conversation somewhere.


what bothers me is other people not related to me me giving shit to my parents because they aren't MAINSTREAM- meaning they are Muslims and you know, muslims are bad and evil and they don't believe in god or whatever faggotry. i almost slapped a bitch when i was explaining that my mom converted - she looked at me up and down , you know that look where you instantly know they are judging you- jesus christ i almost got into a fight inside a mother fucking nursery with a squatter mom or some shit. yeah.

that's one of the few things that can make me rage- when people judge you based on your beliefs and not your person as a whole. :/

any way, i have to say that having friends is nice though-it's not always pleasant but having another person's opinion that you can trust and to have someone who can honestly criticize you and correct your views etc. is a good asset to have