What did you learn today?

[iraya-sama]

That I have this murderous intent repressed inside me. I have visions of myself just smashing some assholes at school into the wall, skidding their faces along the concrete as their skin is scraped away, and cracking a skull along some metal railings.

And also that in our 4th year of High School we're going to have mock families, and I'm a mock dad. So I guess I have to keep that side of me in check, you know, for the children o3o

could be a mental disorder
i forgot the name though
(also long explanation)

but it's about the patient having visions of murdering or accidentally harming other people- mainly close relations- to the point of obsession where it can affect their day to day life. Patients don't act upon their visions but are often plagued by anxiety that inhibits their daily lives (i.e. hiding their knives in case they might accidentally stab someone, being very careful on touching/holding other people) and also extreme guilt that they are thinking of such things.....yeah

but since it's not close relations- you're just pissed off so try to calm down. it's a pretty normal thought to cross someone's mind- no need to categorize it as actual murderous intent since you still have the audacity to tell other people about it. Most people with actual murderous intents don't usually tell other people about it as they know they are serious in committing their future crime. Murderous intent doesn't just stem from extreme in the moment anger- it can also come from well thought out plans.

it also appears you are in the 4th year so you are still experiencing adolescence and your huge anger could be a symptom of all the hormones your body is releasing in your system right now. wait a couple more years when you're twenty and it will mellow down.

i also learned Dysania -noun- the state of finding it hard to get out of bed in the morning.