12-18-2006, 04:13 PM
I just finished reading the new chapters. They're okay but not as good as some of the previous ones. I'll just do it like before and do it by chapter.
Chapter 15: Wow, I never expected the encounter to end that way. I was so sure that Jaden would have just killed the cat with his rifle but I didn't count on him actually having to go up against it like that. I find it funny that Hitomi can be so caring and annoying at the same time. Haha, Of course, after the hero saves the girl, the girl has to patch up the hero. It was funny how Hitomi helped Jaden wash the cat's blood off. Then the ending was okay, not on par with chapter 7 or 11 but still good.
Chapter 16: I don't get it. Until now, Hitomi is still unsure whether she loves or doesn't love Jaden? Then what was all that kissing and flirting for? Is she that unused to love that she can't tell how she really feels? Silly girl. Other than that, it's good that they finally found a little slice of paradise. I'm guessing that they'll be getting in contact with the Ravens soon enough now that they've found a base. Things are finally looking up. I'm also touched by how attached Hitomi has gotten to Jaden in that she doesn't want him to go anywhere without her. She may not like being weak but she sure can show her vulnerable side very easily.
Chapter 17: This wasn't in the original plans, was it? This chapter was a little boring at a few points but it turned out good in the end. Awwww, their first date. Dancing, dinner then a make-out session? What a classic way to really further their relationship. And they actually slept in a bed together? How come I'm having visions of how the following chapter is gonna be . You did post previously the titles of the upcoming chapters and "Playing with fire" looks like it's gonna be a hot one (pun intended). Not to sound like Necron, but I'm really gonna be waiting for the next installment. Innuendo aside, I really, really liked the way you ended this chapter. It was just so sweet and touching. Very nice.
Oh yeah, good job on advertising the beer, haha! A drunken Raven is an unusual thing indeed.
Something's bothering me, though. They've been together for almost two years. They've developed feelings for each other, kiss each other all the time and hold hands wherever they go. They even sleep together at night for crying out loud! I just can't believe that they still haven't said ILY to each other yet. Is there some kind of plot twist you're planning or is it just another plot device to keep things interesting? I better hear them confess their feelings to each other in the next few chapters.
Nice going, Fox. Keep it up! Oh, and don't worry, I'm finishing up that LH fic I told you about.
Ja Ne!
Chapter 15: Wow, I never expected the encounter to end that way. I was so sure that Jaden would have just killed the cat with his rifle but I didn't count on him actually having to go up against it like that. I find it funny that Hitomi can be so caring and annoying at the same time. Haha, Of course, after the hero saves the girl, the girl has to patch up the hero. It was funny how Hitomi helped Jaden wash the cat's blood off. Then the ending was okay, not on par with chapter 7 or 11 but still good.
Chapter 16: I don't get it. Until now, Hitomi is still unsure whether she loves or doesn't love Jaden? Then what was all that kissing and flirting for? Is she that unused to love that she can't tell how she really feels? Silly girl. Other than that, it's good that they finally found a little slice of paradise. I'm guessing that they'll be getting in contact with the Ravens soon enough now that they've found a base. Things are finally looking up. I'm also touched by how attached Hitomi has gotten to Jaden in that she doesn't want him to go anywhere without her. She may not like being weak but she sure can show her vulnerable side very easily.
Chapter 17: This wasn't in the original plans, was it? This chapter was a little boring at a few points but it turned out good in the end. Awwww, their first date. Dancing, dinner then a make-out session? What a classic way to really further their relationship. And they actually slept in a bed together? How come I'm having visions of how the following chapter is gonna be . You did post previously the titles of the upcoming chapters and "Playing with fire" looks like it's gonna be a hot one (pun intended). Not to sound like Necron, but I'm really gonna be waiting for the next installment. Innuendo aside, I really, really liked the way you ended this chapter. It was just so sweet and touching. Very nice.
Oh yeah, good job on advertising the beer, haha! A drunken Raven is an unusual thing indeed.
Something's bothering me, though. They've been together for almost two years. They've developed feelings for each other, kiss each other all the time and hold hands wherever they go. They even sleep together at night for crying out loud! I just can't believe that they still haven't said ILY to each other yet. Is there some kind of plot twist you're planning or is it just another plot device to keep things interesting? I better hear them confess their feelings to each other in the next few chapters.
Nice going, Fox. Keep it up! Oh, and don't worry, I'm finishing up that LH fic I told you about.
Ja Ne!
I hate the way you talk to me. And the way you cut your hair.
I hate the way you drive my car. I hate it when you stare.
I hate your big dumb combat boots And the way you read my mind.
I hate you so much it makes me sick — It even makes me rhyme.
I hate the way you're always right. I hate it when you lie.
I hate it when you make me laugh — Even worse when you make me cry.
I hate it that you're not around. And the fact that you didn't call.
But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you — Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.
I hate the way you drive my car. I hate it when you stare.
I hate your big dumb combat boots And the way you read my mind.
I hate you so much it makes me sick — It even makes me rhyme.
I hate the way you're always right. I hate it when you lie.
I hate it when you make me laugh — Even worse when you make me cry.
I hate it that you're not around. And the fact that you didn't call.
But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you — Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.
