Fox's fanfics

[Grim]

<!--QuoteBegin-Fox+Nov 22 2006, 11:03 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Fox @ Nov 22 2006, 11:03 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> Basically, the fic is about self-discovery, human relations, the inner workings of the fragile human psyche and that ever-illusive thing we call true love. Like i said before, it'll be a different kind of AC story. [/quote:43e7842f9d]
Goddamn. That was deep.

I'll get a review up of the succeeding chapters once I get the time to read them. I agree with Necron here Fox, you're doing very good work. Keep it up!

[Lunar]

Ooooh, so there is a writer in this place.

I haven't read any of the fics yet but the others seem to be giving you good reviews so i'll peruse them later. I'm not much for sci-fi stuff but since that's what the topic here is about, and i haven't anything else to do at the moment, i'll give them a whirl.

I used to write fics too. That was way back in my college days (Damn, i am so past my prime already -_- ) and i made a few romance/humor fics about several animes like Love Hina and Robotech (Keitaro and Naru make such a cute couple, while the romance between Rick and Lisa was very, umm, intriguing, to say the least). Obviously, i'm more of a lovey-dovey, WAFFy fan but i can stomach other genres too.

Sigh, i'm such a hopeless romantic. When will i find my very own Tamahome to come and sweep me off my feet.

<!--QuoteBegin-Grimlok+Nov 28 2006, 10:07 AM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Grimlok @ Nov 28 2006, 10:07 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--><!--QuoteBegin-Fox+Nov 22 2006, 11:03 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Fox @ Nov 22 2006, 11:03 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> Basically, the fic is about self-discovery, human relations, the inner workings of the fragile human psyche and that ever-illusive thing we call true love. Like i said before, it'll be a different kind of AC story. [/quote:48d5118263]
Goddamn. That was deep.

I'll get a review up of the succeeding chapters once I get the time to read them. I agree with Necron here Fox, you're doing very good work. Keep it up![/quote:48d5118263]

Really now. True love eh? That's got my attention.

I'll post some reviews later. Gotta read them fics first.

Ja ne!

*Aaahhh, another monologue. When i type, i can't seem to stop. Cursed old college writing habits!

[Necron]

<!--QuoteBegin-Lunar+Nov 30 2006, 06:55 AM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Lunar @ Nov 30 2006, 06:55 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->I used to write fics too.[/quote:2188fd4cac]

Since both of you seem to be good at writing, why don't you try to do a fanfic together? You know, a collaboration of sorts. With your posts in the Assembly area, i'm sure it'll turn out good

[Lunar]

Why not? That's an interesting idea but i haven't written anything in the last 2 years. I could serve as a proofreader or pre-reader/adviser though, if Fox will let me. For now i'm reading his fics.

I've finished The Last Stand and Komm Susser Tod, good work on both of them.

I'm currently reading Fox's Wings of Tomorrow. I confess that it's not at all what i expected it to be although it is rather well-written. The interaction between Jaden and Hitomi is very intriguing, a nice boy-meets-girl type of story.

I've just finished chapter 8. Oh my, that kiss was soooo nakakakilig

I've noticed the lyric inserts at the beginnings of the chapters and i realize that the story is part-songfic. Those lyrics are rather well-chosen and pertinent to the chapter they've been added to.

I won't post a review until i finish the rest of the available chapters. I want to do them in one shot but Fox, i'll say for now that you're doing one hell of a job. You're work is a cut above what i've done in the past.

Catch ya for the next installments.

Ja ne!

[strawhat_luffy]

k, i just finished reading Wings of Tomorrow...I think Fox is the official RR's Storyteller. There is no way my fics/stories compete with that.

[Grim]

<!--QuoteBegin-strawhat_luffy+Dec 2 2006, 12:20 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (strawhat_luffy @ Dec 2 2006, 12:20 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> k, i just finished reading Wings of Tomorrow...I think Fox is the official RR's Storyteller. There is no way my fics/stories compete with that. [/quote:b50f1e3c43]
You know it. And Wings isn't even finished yet.

[Lunar]

Here's my review of Fox's fics. It's a bit long since i'm doing all the fics in one shot, not to mention that WIngs of Tomorrow reads more like a novel than a fanfic.

The Last Stand
This had a gritty feel to it. Reads kind of like a WWII story about last-ditch fighting. Its almost like the bridge battle in Saving Private Ryan (my older brother is a war-movie nut so i know about these things), except that its got ACs instead. The part where Coheed's AC got knocked down and he watches his friends die one by one was dramatic, almost like a movie. The ending was very sad and tragic but the fic itself was good.

Komm Susser Tod
I remember seeing a book with the same title as this fic. First-person narratives are usually more exciting and umm, personal because you get the facts straight from that person's perspective. At first i had no idea who the narrator was but as the fighting progressed and the pulverizer arrived, it all became clear that Zinaida was the narrator. I especially liked the part in the ending in which she stood on her AC's shoulder with the winds blowing around. It was like an anime ending. Very cool.

Wings of Tomorrow
Now this fic i really liked. At first it was an AC story but later it began focusing on the developing relationship between the two characters. It was very engrossing and romantic. I'll just do it like Grimlok and Necron and review it per chapter.

Prologue: Wow, all-out action. Almost like a scene in a war-movie with the supporting characters sacrificing themselves so that the two heroes can get to safety. Nicely done.

Chapter 1: So Hitomi initially acted like a toughie but deep down she just wanted attention. I can sympathize with that. Yeah, i'd say shell-shocked is the word. At least Jaden was there to comfort her. Awww, how sweet.

Chapter 2: That was quite a bit of WAFF when Jaden was holding Hitomi and he put her to sleep. Then when he got the message and found out that everything was gone, that was scary. After that, I didn't quite expect Hitomi to react the way she did. Doesn't she know anything about rationality and foreplanning?

Chapter 3: So now Hitomi feels sorry. Okay, that redeemed her a bit in my eyes. Now, when they arrived in the city, Jaden's sudden change of behavior and his fatalist attitude unnerved me a bit. So now its the other way around and Hitomi's the strong one? Reversal hell.

Chapter 4: Oh God. Now i understand them a bit more. Their telling each other of their childhoods was touching. So both of them had rather painful growing-up experiences. That seems to be the start of their bonding. Very good.

Chapter 5: Here begins the rest of the story. So now its them against the world is it? I find Hitomi at the start of the story a bit annoying again but then she did knock some sense into Jaden. Hitomi's soul-searching in front of the jewelry store was nice but this one was even better:

So here starts survival

Yes, i hope we make it

We will, we have to, we have no other choice

God, that part was dramatic. It would have been even better if they held each other's hands.

Chapter 6: Now this one was funny. The haircut scene was a good divergence from all the seriousness in the earlier chapters. From this part, i can tell that Hitomi seems to be liking Jaden. The rest of the chapter was okay as it now added a bit of sexual tension.

Chapter 7: Wow, by far the most dramatic and touching chapter yet. Usually, its the girl who cries and needs comforting but with Hitomi's comforting of Jaden, this was just awesome. Its as if all that Jaden needed was the compassion that lay hidden in Hitomi for him to get stronger. I really was touched by the way Hitomi held onto him. After that, it was funny how she seemed to revert to her usual self. The final part was good as it seemed to inspire them to continue searching.

Chapter 8: And the hero saves the girl. Frankly, i could tell that Hitomi was going to be in trouble again. Why is it that she never seems to listen to Jaden's warnings. Stupid girl. Now there was one part during the lifesaving that Jaden did that really moved me:

Where you're going, i'm going. I will not leave you, not now, not ever.

Good god, that was amazing. I could really feel the emotion behind Jaden's words as he said that. That kiss they shared after was really, really nakakakilig. Now starts the romance!

Chapter 9: Awww, the two are confused about what happened. Hitomi's a ditz and Jaden's an idiot if they both don't know the reason behind the kiss and their newfound feelings. It's called love, you fools! Seriously, this chapter was cute. An awkward situation followed by a very heartwarming ending. A lot of WAFF once again but I like it.

Chapter 10: Touching, simply touching. Their thoughts at the start of the chapter were really touching. Especially in Hitomi's part where she remembers the happy times of her childhood, it was a real tearjerker. I was crying at that part because it made me realize that my childhood is now a long way behind me and that i can't go back to that part of my life anymore. Fox, you do a real good job of playing on the emotions, you know that. Then the kiss they shared when they woke up was good. The next scene where they were walking along and sharing details of their lives was heartwarming. Their reaching out to each other is a good way to once again strengthen their bonds and bring them closer to each other.

Chapter 11: What the heck, six months and nothing happened? Did i miss something or did you skip over a chapter or two. They remained at a stalemate for six months just because Jaden was scared of letting go if his ex? Then again i can understand the feeling of not wanting to get hurt. It also seems that this chapter is the beginning of a more physical part of their relationship since Hitomi is now teasing Jaden with her boobs. The last part was again very touching. Now the two of them have made promises to each other and this part of the ending was really good:

[i]They two pilots sat under the stars for a long time, neither saying anything else because there wasn

[Doom Trigger]

I kinda like where all this is going guys. Ever thought of creating manga? I mean we have artists (jonevangeist) and writters here. just my thought tho. I think this'll be fun(well, if it happens).

Actually I've been dreaming of making my own RPG for a long time now(I'm a programmer before I became a shop owner), but lack the skills(aside from programming, I don't draw nor write interesting stuff). Maybe if all goes well you guys can help me out -_- ..

[Necron]

Hot damn! Lunar gives an even better review than i did. Just what is it that you studied in English and Masscom that makes you two that good at writing? Now that she mentioned it, yeah, the titles and the lyric inserts are a nice touch. Gives a good idea of things to come.

Here's what i think of the latest chaps. I noticed that starting from chap10, each succeeding installment gets longer and more interesting.

Chap11: Jaden's torpe-ness seems to have taken hold. I knew it, Pinoy nga talaga sya! Half-serious, half-funny was what i thought of this chapter. The funny parts was Jaden's "homo-gag" and Hitomi's "flashing" of Jaden. What I really liked was Jaden's story, Hitomi's promise and the way they held each other during the ending was very (as Lunar would put it) heartwarming. So basically what Jaden asked for in the end was permission from Hitomi to start courting her? That guy's a good smooth-talker. )

Chap12: Hell yeah! Now's about time for things to start heating up! I could tell that the massage Jaden gave to Hitomi somehow got to her and that was why she did "it" after taking a bath. Actually, i was disappointed because that was all that happened, although i had hopes for some action to happen after they kissed. Overall, good chapter and nice touch on Hitomi's singing.

Chap13: And there it is. A funny conversation, a lot of smooching, a few hilarious moments during the kissing and after a year and a half of beating around the bush, the two have fallen in love. About time. Now when does the real "action" start?

Damn. I expect the rest of the fic to be even better now that their true feelings have been revealed. Keep it up Fox!

Oh and you really should consider my (collaboration with Lunar) and Doom Trigger's (manga or RPG) proposal. Who knows what may come out of it but it can only be good.

[Fox]

OMG!!! People are starting to take notice!

Gee, i hope i'm not disappoiting anyone with the slow pace of updates. However since Lunar will come and beat me up if i don't do any updates, maybe i'll just stop writing the fic altogether then.

*gets shot multiple times by a dozen ACs*

Okay, alright, alright. Just kidding.

I'm finished writing Chapter 14: To sleep, perchance to dream, and i'm currently in the 3rd quarter of Chapter 15: Primal. I'll hafta proofread these chapters first before i post them. If i can do them uninterrupted then i might have them up before i go to bed tonight.

Oh, so Lunar and Necron seem to be deducing the events of the chapters just by the titles eh. Let's see how you like this then. It's not a real spoiler, just what i've got planned for the rest of the fic.

Analyze this, you two: /GG

Wings of Tomorrow
Book 1: Shattered Dreams, Distant Hopes

Prologue

[Lunar]

Spoilers are spoilers. You gave a peek at the next chapters so those are still spoilers but i'll keep my opinions quiet for now.

Post those chapters ASAP, please. I still can't stop thinking about whats going to happen next.

3 books? Just how long is this fic going to take to finish anyway? >

[Fox]

Okay, call them spoilers if you want. Whatever floats your boat.

And don't get the wrong ideas. Jaden and Hitomi haven't fallen in love yet. No "I love you"s have been said yet. If you'll read Chapter 13 again, what Hitomi said was "Jaden, I...you.". Nope, those weren't the three words. I"m not saying what it really was. I'll just leave it to your imaginations.

It'll be a long time before they can say those words to each other. With what I've got planned in mind, when the words do finally come out, things will get worse before they get better.

I've posted Chapter 14 already. My pre-reader hasn't given his comments on Chapter 15 yet so it's still not up. I hope to get the results by tonight.

For now, enjoy Chapter 14. If i were you guys, i'd get a hanky ready 'cause there was one part during the time I was writing Chapter 14 that I began to cry. Yep, I'm a guy and I actually cried at something i've written.

Happy reading!

@Doom Trigger
Your proposal seems interesting. Why don't you talk to the other guys and we'll see what can come out of it.

@Necron
I already talked to Lunar about the collaboration thing. I told her i'd rather have her as a reviewer. Sorry.

@Lunar
With the long update times between chapters (and my laziness) i'd say it'll take around nine months or more to finish all three books. Although I hope it really won't take that long

[Lunar]

<!--QuoteBegin-Fox+Dec 4 2006, 05:01 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Fox @ Dec 4 2006, 05:01 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->Whatever floats your boat.[/quote:bce862eb17]
Whatever sinks your submarine )

9 months to finish the entire series? At least if things are this good, I can wait that long.

Okay, so I may be wrong, Jaden's in love and Hitomi is starting to realize it too. At least it'll be only a short time (I hope) before they finally admit their feelings.

Hitomi's dream about her mother (that felt too real to be just a dream) was touching and heartbreaking. I was also crying the whole time. I felt happy for Hitomi when she was reunited with her mother then I was sad when they parted. It was almost like watching The Land before Time again. Great job, I could really feel Hitomi's sadness and sorrow. At least Jaden was there again to comfort her.

The ending was a cliffhanger. Don't keep us in suspense, post the next chapter ASAP. Great job, idiot

EDIT: By this point, i'm not noticing some of the typos, repeated words and whatnot, the story has me grabbed by the horns. The romance is getting to me.

[strawhat_luffy]

well the problem with my fanfics/novels is that imo they're to short and without many details. I'll PM you a quick chapter of an AC fanfic idea i had a few minutes ago.

[strawhat_luffy]

my new fic is up, Armored Core: Heavenfall. Wonder what Evangel's AC is modeled after huh.