Serene's Fic Discussion...

[Serene]

HnA's up.

HnA [Hikaru no Aoi] is my early work back when I was still in hisghschool,
in preperation for my Fine Arts course in UECal.


The HnA's story revolves around two of the 9 protagonists in the main story,
Nine Swords: EndGraver, and is intended as a 5 part prologue.

I apologize if most of the story is in Filipino, not having my own PC, I haven't gotten the time to translate it yet. If someone want to work on a translation, it's OK...

Suggestion and comments are very welcome.
Flame are too... Just bring your own fire extinguishers...

[Grim]

Your style is certainly unorthodoxed, writing fics as plays. This should make no difference in how well your story is understood though, at least theoretically. Unfortunately, the way the writing is formatted (with a lot of square brackets, quotation marks, etc.) kinda leaves the reader behind and breaks any form of fluidity. I suggest changing the way it's put down somewhat.

Story-wise, it's fine. There's not much action to comment on yet, though.

However, I think you're busy with the manga now, correct?