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Magnet - Immaterial - 01-16-2012

Magnet
by Immaterial

“I-I l-like you! E-ever since I…I…w-want to know more a—about, y-y-y-yyou, I…”

I let out a sigh. No, this won’t do. Crossing my arms across my chest, I shook my head in disappointment before adjusting my glasses. And she frowned at that with a look of defeat on her face. She shrunk back from me as she looked down at an uninteresting part of the floor, blushing like mad. I forced a smile as I reached for her, patting her on her head despite she being taller than me. Her long hair getting ruffled under my hand. At that, she gave a pout a contrast to the furious blush on her cheeks. I couldn’t help but giggle at the look on her face.

“I-its not my fault! I’m not used to this. Stop laughing at me!”

Well, not like I can’t help it. She just looks so adorable that it was impossible not to. I apologized to her but the shaking in my voice didn’t seem to convince her as her face was now a full pout. Her eyes narrowed at me before sighing again.

“I wanted you to help me, not laugh at me.”

I know I know, I nodded my head at that. Far for me to be the reason she will be discouraged with what she wanted to do. To be honest, I was surprised she asked me for help and how I was willing to give it to her. Well, maybe because it was so rare for her to be honest. As her friend since childhood, I knew how she was. How hard it was for her to express herself, almost always prompting to act the opposite of what she meant. I guess that’s why she stuck with me as I usually understood what she means. That expression of hers of having found someone who understands her will be forever etched in my mind.

She called my name, shaking me out of my reveries.

“Are you daydreaming again?”

No I wasn’t, I tried to lie, shaking my head as I did. I giggled nervously as I placed a hand on my cheek. A habit of mine.

“Well your nose is bleeding again. And keep your glasses on please. “ She handed me a box of tissues, “Whenever you remove them, blood seems to follow.”

Blinking, I put my glasses back on, unaware I took them off and accepted the box of tissues she handed me. I thanked her as I wipe the blood off my nose.

“We know you are an anemic, so try not to keep doing this to yourself.”

Waving a finger, she started to lecture me about my own health. I could only smile at that but it vanished when she stopped. My expression turned to one of concern when she started to speak once more.

“Maybe I just can’t do this after all.”

What was she saying I told her. I gave her one of my disarming smiles as I tried to encourage her. We have both been working hard on this, well mostly her, I believe. All I did was push her along. I did my best to support her anyway I can. And for me, I just can’t help enjoy watching her when she was all focused on what she wanted to do. Especially when she was all flustered doing something she wasn’t used to but still will do it, with her own sheer willpower. I could never forget how she looked like every time.

I blinked as she grabbed on to my wrist.

“Don’t take off your glasses, please.”

I could only nod, a furious blush making itself known on my cheeks as I felt her touch on me. Her eyes also seemed to be boring right through me. My whole body felt weak at that stare, thankfully she let me go, once more sighing. Her brow furrowed as she closed her eyes, deep in thought.

“I still don’t know how I will do this. I get so nervous.”

I stared at her worriedly as I tried to think of what to say. I really didn’t like it when her face has that kind of expression. I don’t want her looking sad or depressed. My face brightened up as an idea came to me. My suggestion was she bring along a gift, something like maybe a bento or cookies, to at least ease her up and it provided a topic for conversation. That would help reduce her nervousness, right?

“But I can’t cook nor bake…”

I only giggled at that. Teaching her would be easy, I reassured her. It took a bit of convincing on my part but she gave in. And we found ourselves in our kitchen, me teaching her what I knew. She opted for cookies and we both knew that person would like that. Still, she wasn’t kidding that she didn’t know anything about baking. It actually took quite a bit of my effort to actually get her to learn but we managed somehow. I just couldn’t give up, not when she had that look again. Her look of determination was all I needed to keep on pushing on as well.

“I did it!”

And of course, that look of triumph on her face was something I adored much more. I smiled, mirroring hers. My thoughts wandered to how she will be doing what she wanted. I knew she won’t have any problems now. She would offer the cookies, smiling at that person and get to say what she wanted to. If it were me, I wouldn’t need the cookies, only her smile was enough. That smile on her lips, lips I’ve often wondered how they tasted. How would it feel with my lips pressing on hers and my hands moving off their own accord and—

She called my name as she held out a box of tissues at me, concern written on her face.

“Mou. Are you okay? You seem to be on a roll today.”

Unfortunately, I was but I couldn’t tell her that. I just giggled nervously as I took the box from her. Wiping my nose as I did, I tried to calm myself down. I couldn’t let her be too worried about me, even if I enjoyed the attention from her a lot.

“I think, I can do this now. With this.”

She held up the paper bag she had placed the cookies she had baked in. That determined look on her face once more. Turning to me, she smiled disarmingly, that one smile that made me stare. It was that smile she did when we first met.

That smile I kept in my heart.

That smile I loved.

Loved. I wanted to tell her that but I knew, it would change everything. And I didn’t want that. I am happy with the way things are. I don’t want to lose anything.

“Well um… Thank you.”

Her voice jolted me out of my reveries. I blinked as she fidgeted a bit, blushing slightly.

“I mean it, thank you for everything.”

She smiled once more.

That same disarming smile.

And I felt myself lose control at that. All semblance of control melted away and I felt myself throwing my arms around her as my own lips seek hers. I closed my eyes as our lips met. My whole body felt warmer as I savored the contact but that sensation shook me back to reality. The reality of what I had just done.

My eyes opened wide as I broke of our kiss. I couldn’t help but apologize immediately and turn away from her gaze; my own cheeks burning. I just had done something that would risk everything I have.

Everything I loved.

“Wait. Wait I said!”

I heard her say as I turned away from her. I pretended not to hear. I wanted to run away. But any will I had to do what I intended to do vanished when she grabbed me by the wrist, not letting me go. My body felt even more limp when her hands rested on my shoulders and she turned me to face her. The impulse not to look at her made itself known as I did so.

“Why?” She asked me. Her voice filled with concern mixed with a hint of urgency.

Why what? Her question rang in my mind as I tried to find answers. Why did I want to kiss you? It was because I love you. Why did I do what I did? I don’t know, I shouldn’t have lost control. Why did I want to get away? Because I was afraid. I did the worst possible thing I could ever do.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” She asked again, right before she held me in a crushing hug.

I blinked at that. The question was so unexpected but I didn’t really have any chance to think, even more when she gave me a kiss of her own, a deep possessing one. My legs felt weak by the manner on how she did so, so much I felt them gave way. I cringed at the pain when I felt my back hit the kitchen wooden floor but the sensation was forgotten when I looked up at her. Her frame was shaking and tears were streaming down the sides of her face.

“Idiot. Idiot. You idiot.” She muttered between sobs. Her frame was shivering more now. “I thought, I thought…”

The look of anguish on her face pained me, very much. All I could do was reach for her, my hand on her cheek. She closed her eyes at the sensation of my palm on her skin.

”I…I thought I was the only one…” She whispered as she tried to calm herself down, “Who felt that way. Idiot. You idiot.”

It was then she leaned down and started to sob on my shoulder. The only thing I could do was embrace her as tight as I could. At that moment, I was made aware of how she was suffering as well, all because of my own weakness.

“You ruined our first kiss you know.” I heard her whisper in my ear.

And I could only blush at that especially when she leaned back to look at me with a smile on her face. She giggled at my expression I had on.

A pause.

“S-Should we do it again?” She finally said as her own cheeks flushed crimson.

I could only nod. There was nothing else I could do. Any resistance and doubts all but vanished when she started to lean closer to me. My eyes closed involuntarily as I waited for that sensation, that feeling of her lips on my own. I knew it won’t be the same as before and certainly not like any of my daydreams.

I gasped inwardly when our lips met. A warm feeling coursed through my frame as I tasted her lips, sending shivers across my frame which left me weak. So weak that the only option was to surrender to the sensations. I dimly felt one of her hands moving all over my frame while the other was searching for my own hand, grasping it tightly as she slipped her tongue into my mouth, meeting with mine. A moan escaped my lips as our tongues danced, passionately, lovingly, till we broke of our kiss, trying to catch each other’s breath. A hungry look with a healthy tinge of crimson on our faces as we disengaged.

“I…I…w-want to…” She started to say as she grasped my hand tighter while her other gingerly rested on my thigh, seemingly to be stuck in place, a bit shaky.

“I’m home!”

A cheery familiar voice came from the door, echoing across the room. Both of us panicking as we tried to look as normal as we could, shifting ourselves to a sitting position, facing opposite each other.

“I’m home! Eh? What are the two of you doing on the floor?”

Nothing I reassured my sister and thankfully, she seemed to be satisfied with that. She just shrugged and walked upstairs in direction of her room. Hopefully, she didn’t notice anything. I sighed in relief but blinked as I felt a hand grasped my own. I turned to face her, blushing slightly as our eyes met.

“I love you.” She whispered, just loud enough for me to hear.

I couldn’t help but smile. Looks like things will be different from now on. I grasped her hand tighter on my own, not wanting to let go.

I love you too.

~+~

End