Quote:TOP GUN MOVIE REVIEW

Homoeroticism:

In many ways, this should be the only category that matters for a film like this. Never in my life have I seen a film so top-heavy with homoerotic longings and beefy men who look at each other with love, affection, and sexual delight. One could discuss these things for hours, but a partial list will suffice:

* The main characters are in the Navy, for fuck’s sake. Need I say more?
* Cougar has a panic attack that eerily resembles a shattering orgasm.
* After Iceman tells Maverick, “I’ll see you later,” he responds, “You can count on it.”
* Maverick actually walks into a ladies room on purpose.
* There are sunglasses and tight uniforms as far as the eye can see.
* We hear the line, “He’s on my tail, comin’ hard.”
* There are at least four scenes in a locker room, with no man wearing more than a towel.
* A furious commanding officer screams, “I want some butts!” I am not kidding.
* Has anyone taken a look at Goose’s moustache lately?
* Maverick is either showering or talking about showering. Remember, all of these showers involve seeing other men naked. He never showers alone.
* When Goose dies, Maverick mourns as if he has lost his lover. Wait a minute, he has.
* There is a volleyball game that just might be the most homoerotic scene in film history. Not only is there a song on the soundtrack that contains the lyrics “playing with the boys,” but each man is shirtless, sweaty and/or oiled, and there are enough high-fives and butt-slaps to last a lifetime. It is telling that Maverick is late for a “date” with a woman because of this very game.
* Maverick actually considers quitting his job over another man.

Corpse Count:

Alas, only one man dies. Still, this lone fatality does give us the opportunity to watch Tom Cruise cradle another man in his arms. Some Russians die, but back in the 80s they didn’t count as people.