08-16-2010, 04:05 PM
Alright RR, here it is, in its pure unedited form. 
---
Hi RR, I was high yesterday.
I haven't been in a few years so it was surprising how pleasant the experience was. All of the stuff below is apparently unedited from earlier, and not all of it was experienced chronologically. I jumped from category to category, augmenting each section like a goddamn chapter when my mind flew to it.
-Sensory, especially that of touch/feel, was awesome. The skin on the back and sides of my head were the first to feel it. A bit of that cool heat that menthol gives off. It was like my mind was starting to burn up/expand, or like if the back and sides of my head were covered in menthol shampoo. Like I said. Soon I felt something like fingers massaging my scalp, only they were massaging from the underside, like they were inside my skin, sandwiched by my bone. They wormed from side to back to side. It felt goooood.
-Food was, I hurt to admit, lacking in intake. I only ate one ensaymada after, so I couldn't really expound on the experience. But for what it's worth, the cheese tasted really good and salty, it complimented the glazed sugar on top of the fluffy bread really well. My tongue popped and felt warm when I was tasting the food. Interestingly, I didn't feel full, in fact up to now. Munchies are real. I must make sure to eat to full (and beyond) the next time I go on a mental trip. I bet it'd feel like straddling a rocket as it rides alongside the food, slowly delving into my esophagus and into my stomach, floating like asteroids in space.
-Movement was also very erratic in experience. Some times I would be slurred and sideways, my arms and head heavy, at other times I felt like my head was starting to float, and still at other times I felt like I could move smoothly like ice. I experienced both extremes.
At one point my elbows just locked up, and I couldn't/wouldn't lift my hand up. They felt like they were holding on to weights. I threw them around like makeshift flails. Then my head/neck felt really heavy and couldn't/wouldn't respond to my want to keep my head up. Another time I was so fickle. I couldn't sit still in one place. This ultimately led to...
And finally, yes at one time I danced those dances what I was thinking was a smooth, Risky Business Tom Cruise-like move. I also did something like what they used to do on noontime shows of the 1990s. You know, the dances the male stars would do. The one Hitch said we should "live" in. That hands-at-90 degrees-to-the-body, finger-snapping, shaking-head-and-body-from-side-to-side kind-of-thing.
-Music was so epic. I wished songs would never end, and often it felt that they were longer than the 3 or 4 minutes. I found more and more details to songs I glossed over before. Also, I was no longer picked about songs, I just set it on shuffle and listened and listened. Rock awakened anger and epic feelings in me. Techno perked me up real good. R&B did stir me a bit less. Classical music was interesting when the higher notes of the piano played, like a fairy dancing on my eardrums. OPM surprised me - hey, these people are signing in my language!
I think I experienced the peaks and valleys of a landscape made of sound. Up, down, inward and empty, outward and full. Sometimes I felt like I was the performer, actually. Sometimes I felt like I was in the audience watching the artist play right there in front me. Sometimes, I felt like I was in the voice of the singer, or in the sound that the individual instruments were making, moving through the air surfing on the aural waves. It must be awesome to fall asleep when high and listening to music. I await the sonic wonderland experience of weed plus Grados.
-Writing was great. It stimulated my head so much with so many details. I thought about how quick my thoughts would be and how my conscious mind struggled to keep up making the words to describe how I felt, how my fingers strained to keep up with what I wanted to type. How I keep thinking up new ideas on how to word sentences and ideas, and as soon as I grasp them they slip out of my fingers. It was like opening my zipper brain up and going crazy on the keyboard.
I'm even noticing an increase in visualization. More so than what I usually do, which is already quite a bit. The images I form in my head are now in even greater detail. Like if before, I imagined a camera panning over the object to see the details, well that camera is moving even slower now, and even zooming in.
I'm noticing I'm both an increase and a decrease in grammatical/spelling awareness. It may be due to the fickle mind that I jump from grammatical/spelling error to grammatical/spelling error now. Anyway, sometimes I spot errors I'm about to do before they happen and correct them, or I suddenly remember an error I made some time ago and spot it immediately, and correct it. But the entire time I'm writing and I'm writing and I'm writing not really caring about the finer details of the punctuation or the grammar. Like I said, paradoxically increased and decreased. (Tolerance, maybe that's the word I'm really looking for. A greater tolerance for the errors, although again maybe not as I go back and correct immediately after they happen, when they happen.)
I am unsure of a lot of things right now. The only sure thing as hell is I am not editing this later when I'm completely sober again.
I'm writing this as I'm high so as not to forget the easiness at which I wrote, and the fickleness which my mind had become. I also am seemingly less embarassed about sharing all the weird, quirky things I'm doing. As well as the entire experience, of course. In fact, this whole idea at writing this down was to show myself what it read like when one was to one's senses again (as well as to show you guys how much fun I had).
Maybe next time, I could do more of a stream of consciouness-thing. I'd write down whatever I was thinking, then press enter to go to the next line. Whatever comes next, whether it's connected or not, gets its own line. Should be interesting to look at the mental jumps, and where they occur.
---
Hi RR, I was high yesterday.
I haven't been in a few years so it was surprising how pleasant the experience was. All of the stuff below is apparently unedited from earlier, and not all of it was experienced chronologically. I jumped from category to category, augmenting each section like a goddamn chapter when my mind flew to it.
-Sensory, especially that of touch/feel, was awesome. The skin on the back and sides of my head were the first to feel it. A bit of that cool heat that menthol gives off. It was like my mind was starting to burn up/expand, or like if the back and sides of my head were covered in menthol shampoo. Like I said. Soon I felt something like fingers massaging my scalp, only they were massaging from the underside, like they were inside my skin, sandwiched by my bone. They wormed from side to back to side. It felt goooood.
-Food was, I hurt to admit, lacking in intake. I only ate one ensaymada after, so I couldn't really expound on the experience. But for what it's worth, the cheese tasted really good and salty, it complimented the glazed sugar on top of the fluffy bread really well. My tongue popped and felt warm when I was tasting the food. Interestingly, I didn't feel full, in fact up to now. Munchies are real. I must make sure to eat to full (and beyond) the next time I go on a mental trip. I bet it'd feel like straddling a rocket as it rides alongside the food, slowly delving into my esophagus and into my stomach, floating like asteroids in space.
-Movement was also very erratic in experience. Some times I would be slurred and sideways, my arms and head heavy, at other times I felt like my head was starting to float, and still at other times I felt like I could move smoothly like ice. I experienced both extremes.
At one point my elbows just locked up, and I couldn't/wouldn't lift my hand up. They felt like they were holding on to weights. I threw them around like makeshift flails. Then my head/neck felt really heavy and couldn't/wouldn't respond to my want to keep my head up. Another time I was so fickle. I couldn't sit still in one place. This ultimately led to...
And finally, yes at one time I danced those dances what I was thinking was a smooth, Risky Business Tom Cruise-like move. I also did something like what they used to do on noontime shows of the 1990s. You know, the dances the male stars would do. The one Hitch said we should "live" in. That hands-at-90 degrees-to-the-body, finger-snapping, shaking-head-and-body-from-side-to-side kind-of-thing.
-Music was so epic. I wished songs would never end, and often it felt that they were longer than the 3 or 4 minutes. I found more and more details to songs I glossed over before. Also, I was no longer picked about songs, I just set it on shuffle and listened and listened. Rock awakened anger and epic feelings in me. Techno perked me up real good. R&B did stir me a bit less. Classical music was interesting when the higher notes of the piano played, like a fairy dancing on my eardrums. OPM surprised me - hey, these people are signing in my language!
I think I experienced the peaks and valleys of a landscape made of sound. Up, down, inward and empty, outward and full. Sometimes I felt like I was the performer, actually. Sometimes I felt like I was in the audience watching the artist play right there in front me. Sometimes, I felt like I was in the voice of the singer, or in the sound that the individual instruments were making, moving through the air surfing on the aural waves. It must be awesome to fall asleep when high and listening to music. I await the sonic wonderland experience of weed plus Grados.
-Writing was great. It stimulated my head so much with so many details. I thought about how quick my thoughts would be and how my conscious mind struggled to keep up making the words to describe how I felt, how my fingers strained to keep up with what I wanted to type. How I keep thinking up new ideas on how to word sentences and ideas, and as soon as I grasp them they slip out of my fingers. It was like opening my zipper brain up and going crazy on the keyboard.
I'm even noticing an increase in visualization. More so than what I usually do, which is already quite a bit. The images I form in my head are now in even greater detail. Like if before, I imagined a camera panning over the object to see the details, well that camera is moving even slower now, and even zooming in.
I'm noticing I'm both an increase and a decrease in grammatical/spelling awareness. It may be due to the fickle mind that I jump from grammatical/spelling error to grammatical/spelling error now. Anyway, sometimes I spot errors I'm about to do before they happen and correct them, or I suddenly remember an error I made some time ago and spot it immediately, and correct it. But the entire time I'm writing and I'm writing and I'm writing not really caring about the finer details of the punctuation or the grammar. Like I said, paradoxically increased and decreased. (Tolerance, maybe that's the word I'm really looking for. A greater tolerance for the errors, although again maybe not as I go back and correct immediately after they happen, when they happen.)
I am unsure of a lot of things right now. The only sure thing as hell is I am not editing this later when I'm completely sober again.
I'm writing this as I'm high so as not to forget the easiness at which I wrote, and the fickleness which my mind had become. I also am seemingly less embarassed about sharing all the weird, quirky things I'm doing. As well as the entire experience, of course. In fact, this whole idea at writing this down was to show myself what it read like when one was to one's senses again (as well as to show you guys how much fun I had).
Maybe next time, I could do more of a stream of consciouness-thing. I'd write down whatever I was thinking, then press enter to go to the next line. Whatever comes next, whether it's connected or not, gets its own line. Should be interesting to look at the mental jumps, and where they occur.
![[Image: inceptionafterdentist.jpg]](http://a.imageshack.us/img830/8526/inceptionafterdentist.jpg)
![[Image: mindblown.gif]](http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v139/nix88/mindblown.gif)