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Confessions

by Immaterial

Morning comes as it always does, marking the start of another day. I had always made it a habit of mine to wake up just as the day begins as I could go on with my duties punctually and effectively with no chance of error whatsoever. A smile let itself show on my lips as I let my hands move of their own accord, attending to the breakfast that needed to prepared, the sounds just echoing across the empty kitchen. Of course it was empty, as was the whole house as the Master and Mistress had left so long ago, to some country they had just mentioned they had business at. They had left their daughter under my care and I could only accept the task but it wasn’t really something I found worthy to complain about. After all, would you really complain in taking care of a childhood friend whom you have grown up with? I sighed to myself, almost losing my concentration.

And that same childhood friend will be late for school if she doesn’t wake up soon.

Well, it won’t hurt to let her sleep a bit more as I am not yet done with my preparations. I only needed a few more things to take care of and I could probably go over to her and wake her up.

I nodded to myself as I gave my prepared breakfast a once over, deeming it as satisfactory enough for the one who will partake of it. Wiping my hands clean on my apron, I turned to leave the table but only stopped as that childhood friend was now in front of me, smiling.

Ohayo~

I returned her greeting, stuttering for a moment, surprised as she was able to pick herself up from bed on her own today. Well, miracles happen I thought to myself as I gave her a once over, checking for anything that was amiss.

What?

I shook my head as I reached for her, puffing out any creases on her uniform and fixing up any loose ribbons. She could not help but pout at me as I smiled as I clearly saw how she rushed about just trying to make sure I don’t come and wake up today. Still, it was a good try I told her, expecting her to be feel relieved but I was only greeted by a pout once more.

Mou~ I told you to drop that –sama thing when it’s just the two of us…

I blinked at that, nodding my head as I have conveniently forgotten again. Going against protocol was never really easy I told her but I did my best, though I did feel my cheeks burning slightly as I called her the name I used to call her. She seemed pleased at that and that was all that mattered.

It was after breakfast I had found out why she had woken early today. It was the day she said she will go and do what she had told herself she would do and succeed no matter what it took. I offered my assistance but she immediately refused, a bit nervously at that, which made me wonder why but I never was to let myself in to her business so I just let her be. Though I had to admit I was worried to what it was, up to the point she had gone and left for school, leaving me alone in the house to attend to my duties.

Only a mere two hours passed since she had left did I hear someone ringing the door bell. I wondered who it could be for one nobody really does come to visit, as they know the Master and Mistress are out, and it certainly won’t be any her friends as they would all be in class by now. I walked over to open the door, only to stare in surprise as she stood there.

…

I wanted to ask her why she was back so early but the moment I saw her face, one that had an expression of someone who was about to break into tears I changed my mind. All I thought of was to get closer to her and hold her and she seemed to appreciate my intention, hugging me back and crying onto my shoulder. I wondered what had happened, I wanted to ask her but maybe later. I’m pretty sure she would tell me on her own.

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Writer's notes: Will continue this later. Have the story on my head already, now its just the matter of putting the stuff between point A and B.

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I gently knocked on the door to her room, careful not to spill the tray I was carrying. Tea always did calm her down so I found it best to prepare some for her and I hoped it would work this time. She was still crying, the sounds of her sobs could still be heard despite the wooden door in front of me, making me more concerned about what could have happened. Taking a deep breath, I entered her room, gently placing the tray on her table as I looked at her. I could only do my best not to break down there as well.

I kept quiet, fumbling with myself as again my own concern and obedience to protocol wrestled in my mind. I sighed to myself; I had already broken protocol today, what’s another time? I turned to her only to blink as she spoke, her voice muffled by her face being buried on her pillow.

I can’t…do it…

Can’t do what? I shook my head, biting my lip as this was not really making it easy for me to help her and I bitterly wanted to do so. She had always been like this, whenever she gets into such a state, it would be hard to get anything out of her. I had always thought it was typical for her and I had learned to accept that part of her but I realize that as much as it was hard to get the answer from her was it as hard for me to actually contain my own concerns.

I can’t…tell that person my feelings….

She turned to look at me and at that moment, I saw how hurt she really was. Her eyes now swollen from crying to much and that look of anguish on her face was just too much for me to bear. All I can do was tell her she could try again, maybe she could get her feelings across next time but she just shook her head, almost in the verge of crying once more.

No, no, I can’t. I already prepared so much…I-I already promised myself…and that person I will tell my feelings…I can’t…

I reached for her, part of myself wanting to do anything in my power to just stop her pain but another telling I shouldn’t. Those thoughts stopped as I realized she had held my hand, grasping onto it as if her life depended on that simple notion. I turned to her, staring as she was staring back at me. I couldn’t help but keep on staring as I have never seen her wear that expression before. One of determination despite the fact she was shaking. My trance was broken when she started to speak, which much effort.

I-I—I…L---l-

I smiled as I just leaned forward, touching my forehead with hers, as I closed my eyes and she just stopped. Her shaking frame slowly calming down, doing that never fails I have learned. Whenever she was nervous or just in a panic, all I needed to do was that simple motion of contact and she would calm down faster then any other way words could. Somehow, I felt everything was my fault for her to be feeling so nervous and hurt by what had happened. But despite that, she still stepped forward, determined to do what she wanted but in my case, I just let everything happen. My doing so made us reach this point and gave her so much to worry about.

I love you.

I know and I am sorry, I thought, feeling tears peeking out of my eyes but I kept myself in check. I don’t think that was the proper way to react. I smiled, disarmingly, hugging her tight. I felt her frame relax in my arms, warmth emanated from our contact. I leaned to whisper in her ear, reciprocating her feelings. I felt I took a long time in doing so, but, I realized it was because I was satisfied to how things were. With things now, maybe, just maybe it is for the best. She broke our embrace, looking at me directly.

She smiled, tears trickling down the side of her face. Joy clearly evident.

Yes, it’s for the best.

I leaned over, pursuing my own lips to meet with hers, her lips, half-open, expecting, waiting for that contact, that which will confirm everything that had just been said. I could feel my own cheeks heating up when our lips met, that warm contact sending shivers down my frame, making me feel hungrier for more. I closed my eyes, savoring the contact, savoring her taste in my mouth. I couldn’t help but lean closer, deepening our kiss; my tongue moving in to meet with hers. There was no resistance at all, as our tongues began to dance with each other, lovingly, passionately until we broke our kiss, both of us sharing the same look of breathlessness and embarrassment.

Not to mention, love.

She called my name, taking my hand and putting it on her chest. I can’t help shiver at that warmth. That feeling of her skin, protected by that thin layer of her uniform.

P-Please, make me yours.

My eyes opened wide at that; my own frame shivering at the request. Though I am accustomed to giving in to any of her requests and the fact I have to admit I had thoughts of doing such had crossed my mind once or twice, I felt myself hesitate. Something held me back, that learned reflex to go with protocol, to worry what Master and Mistress would say, or what will happen from here on. I must---

All my doubts but disappeared as she leaned closer to me, kissing me again with the same passion and warmth as our first, if not more.

Please. I want you to.

I could only nod, acquiescing to her request. I could feel myself shaking but it was not from nervousness, it was as if it came from that feeling of holding myself back for so long and now, given that I don’t need to, I feel like I was about to explode, as if my own self cannot be contained in my frame. I asked her again, trying to find assurance from her.

Yes, I am sure. It has to be you.

I smiled, nodding again. I heard myself say, something about hoping I would be able to do this right as I reached for her, my hands resting on her shoulders as I leaned over to kiss her once more. I felt her frame go limp, giving in to the kiss as I began to move my hands across her frame, feeling the warmth and softness of her skin under her uniform. Across her shoulders, to her neck, and I gently rested my hands on her chest, feeling the contours of her chest as I felt her gasp into our kiss. I started to knead and massage those mounds of flesh, my palm feeling her erect nipples under her clothes. I noted how soft they really felt and how she reacted to my touch, making sure not to forget how sensitive she really was.

Aahhn…

She moaned as she broke our kiss and I just smiled, planting a trail of kisses down her neck, kissing and nibbling her tender flesh. It was then I felt one of my hands, the other still massaging her chest, slowly snaking down, down her flat abdomen, lower, lower. I could only feel her tense up as my hand reached its intended destination, much more so when my fingers pressed on that spot, that spot now moist covering by a thin barrier of silk. I started to move my fingers across that spot, back and forth, keeping in mind to take note of each and every bit of her reactions. Keeping those in my heart, using them to strengthen my will to continue, to give her what I’ve always wanted to give, to let her receive what she wanted.

It was at that moment her moans became more ragged, more craven for release that I felt the desire in me swell up that I let myself lose control, just letting that desire take over my senses. I pushed her down on the bed, giving her a deep possessing kiss once more as my hands started to slowly undress her. My hands moved on their own, knowing what and what not to do, in a well learned motion that indicated I have done such so many times before but what differed now was the sense of urgency in their movements as if they wanted to feel the naked flesh underneath them as soon as they can.

I broke off our kiss; I could feel my cheeks heating up, mirroring the one she had on her face as I stared at her naked form, something I have seen before but now, felt so different. She never looked so beautiful, I thought and I just gave it to my temptation, my own desires, as I reached for her once more. My hands cupped her breasts, once more kneading and massaging, feeling her erect nipples under my palm, albeit warmer than before.

She only shivered once more at the treatment I was giving her.

I smiled to myself as I leaned down and licked one of her erect nipples, gently sucking and licking that erect nub of flesh as my other hand teased its twin. I made to give that said twin the same treatment, alternating from one to the other, her shivering and moans egging me on. My free hand snaked down her flat abdomen to that slick junction between her thighs and I could only feel her frame stiffened at my touch, her back arching as if to meet my hand. I can’t help feel my cheeks heat up as I felt how wet she really was, the wetness sticking to my digits. One finger ran across her nether lips and she moaned at the sensation. I slowly moved my middle finger, gently easing into her but I couldn’t help hesitate, something pulling me back once more.

I only shook my head as I heard her moan once more, calling my name. I bit my lip, right before kissing once more as I eased my finger into her, gently and as slowly as I could. I only closed my eyes, feeling the warmth of the contact of the kiss we shared and how her inner walls seemed to grasp my finger tightly, not wanting to let go. I pushed my finger as far as it could go and she moaned into our kiss, her frame tensing up at my own intrusion.

I smiled as she nodded, wanting me to continue, which I did. I wanted to give her what she wanted; I wanted her to receive what I could offer, and to let her feel what I feel about her. Those thoughts ran in my mind as I moved my hands, in a slow steady rhythm, making sure not to hurt her in any way, making love to her in the gentlest way I could.

She then tense up once more, her moans getting more ragged and desperate and I could only just move my hands slightly faster as I felt her wrap her arms around me, her body tensing up, mewling out my name as she reached her climax, that point, that culmination of pleasure I wanted her to feel.

I could only smile as I felt her breathing began to slow down, a sign she is slowly calming herself down, recovering from her own orgasm. I gave her a quick hug before gently settling her down on the bed, a satisfied smile on both of our faces.

Thank you.

I shook my head. No, I should be the one thanking you. I leaned over to kiss her forehead as I pulled her sheets up to cover her naked frame and she just smiled, as her eyes slowly closed, telling me she had fallen asleep. I could not help but giggle to myself at that serene vulnerable look on her face, remembering how it may have been that face that has started everything. I stood up, walking as quietly as I could to exit her room. Giving her one last look, I just smiled.

Who knows what will happen now, I thought. But, I don’t think it matters, I have her and she has me.

Nothing else, matters.

~+~

End